Trans Joy Interview #4 – 25th January 2023: Britney

Note: these interviews were designed to focus on trans joy, to show trans people being happy with their lives. To show people scared to transition that the media is wrong, and that you can be happy and have a supportive community around you. To show to cis people that we just want to live our lives. The last question in this interview does not come with a happy answer. Despite that, I’ve left it in and not edited it. It might be unhappy, but it’s a reality for a lot of us, and it’s really important to be said, again and again, until it’s heard, acknowledged, and dealt with.

Part One: Trans Joy

What’s your name and why is it important to you, why did you chose it? Also, your pronouns?

 My name is Britney. I chose it. I’ve always liked the name to the effect of if I had ever had a daughter that is what I was going to name her. 

 She/her are the pro’s.

If you’re out, what was coming out like? If not, what are you most looking forward to about being out?

Coming out especially at first, was scary(I’m not the get scared type) and the first time ever leaving the house dressed up I was extremely nervous. But let me tell you…. After hiding the biggest “secret” in my life for over 30 years, when I came out it was like like a massive weight had been lifted off of me and I could breathe for the first time.  Very freeing. 

 After the first few ppl I returned to my not so serious self and started having fun with it. 

Do you have a funny anecdote about being trans? What is it?

Unfortunately I can’t think of a funny anecdote about being trans. I do make this observation however. 

 I was the person who joked about everything and could NOT be offended by jokes or anything else. But since I have been out and it’s all of a sudden a struggle to simply support myself and had to sell everything i’ve worked so hard for, I have lost a big chunk of my sense of humor. (Which is a major thing for me) 

What has been the best thing about transitioning or what is the best thing about being trans?

Well as time passes and the hormones do their job, looking in the mirror seeing my features soften to look more feminine is pretty cool to experience. Breasts are very cool too!

You’ve time travelled into your own past and found a very sad younger version of yourself. What three things can you tell young you that there is to look forward to?

 One- You are going to be tougher than anyone you know including the abusive step dad! 

 Two-  you will pull the trigger on “that thing” you are constantly thinking about and it will change your life. 

 Three- you lead a life of ups and downs, really low lows and very high highs, but you’ll live a very interesting life and experience everything you wanted. 

Part Two: We’re not just our genitals, so here’s some non-trans joy

What would be your ideal way to spend a day?

Having an ideal day is a thought that doesn’t allow for other, better possibilities to occur, however… if I still had my bike, a long ride with a beautiful friend who’s hanging on for dear life behind me with all the best music on Bluetooth in our helmets as we rip thru traffic at speeds you wouldn’t believe as we Head to a beach or a spring and stick our feet in the water with a glass of good tequila and cuddle up with the aforementioned friend. 

Family are the people who love us – by blood or otherwise. Tell me about someone really important to you (as anonymous as you like) and what’s great about them.

My sister, (new mommy) she’ll call anyone out on their BS, very smart, has my back. 

 My evil twin. We met when we were 14 (47 now) in Quahog Rhode Island. And we both live in FL although 3 hrs away.   We have the same exact birthday and figured out recently that we were born 90 minutes apart. She’s my biggest advocate and bff. She’ll kill you with kindness, or could just kill you. (If you are not nice).  

 The best roommate there has ever been- I mean this, I lived with him for almost 2 years (i moved last month 🥲) he gave me a place to live when I left a bad roomie situation. I did not present well aesthetically (think, dude in a dress and he didn’t really know me, I was a friend of a friend. But he always called me girl. “C’mon girl!” . Last year I had to sell my car to pay bills. I did not want to but I didn’t have a choice. That Christmas he got me a scale model of her and he even made a sticker that I had in the back window and put on the model. When i opened the present I started crying, then I saw the window sticker and he says “now you got your car back girl!” (Im crying now thinking about it lol)  image2.jpegHe’s a phenomenal cook. He sold me his old car he was saving for a buddy for half of what he could have got because he saw me struggling for months to find something affordable. 

 He almost beat down someone for touching me but He’s a giant teddy bear I swear. 

Pets, or favourite animal?

I have had 3 bulldogs that were all the best boys, and girl. One of them, Diesel, spent his entire life with me in a semi truck and passed away two weeks before I moved to FL.

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What’s your passion? Hobby? Favourite music, book, food, your team, your job, anything, what do you really, really love?

Cars Bikes and rock and roll!!  Seriously tho I have always been passionate about music, I play guitar and I wanted to be in a working band but… life. 

I was an angel at Victoria’s Secret until a few weeks ago. I loved being there and everyone I worked with and had some great interactions with the customers that I’ll always remember. 

 I love sport bikes and going extremely fast, it’s my Zen or at least it was before I had to sacrifice that too. 

 And HOCKEY. Go pens! 

What have I not asked that you’d really like to talk about?

I hate to end this interview on a downside but i’m not sure people know how desperate circumstances can become for trans folks.  I never had issues finding work (that i wanted) from age 16 to 45 (when my name magically disappeared from the schedule the week I “came out” and some nasty rumors went around too I found out, seriously damaging my image and reputation . the mgrs at “the ace cafe orlando” who took my livelihood were family to me) . But for two years I have been unemployed, I’ve struggled to support and even feed myself. I sacrificed everything I had for money.  I’m currently still seeking gainful employment. I was a very good bartender for over 10 years and nobody will give me a chance to get back at it. 

Since the end of 2020 to now I have filled out HUNDREDS of applications on every job app/site and redirects to separate company sites for a vast variety of jobs.  

I have a pretty wide set of skills in a span of different industries, very hire-able 

I have been so beaten down with “ we’re going with another candidate“ and so hopeless that I have zero optimism left for finding self reliance again. 

So issues like this can have devastating effects, like 41% of the trans community attempts to off themselves.  As to my take on that. Until the last two years I myself have never thought about taking my own life but it has become a prevalent subject of thought in my head as of late because of this unfathomable world of discrimination, biggotry, and hate. I’m tired of dealing with hateful mindsets or toxic belief structures. I just don’t wanna deal with Reprehensible fucks like Ron DeSantis spewing hate speech openly and mocking my community to the effect of increasing violence against trans people (club q, and online bullying). And the slander is unchecked as far as referring to transgender people as a “groomers” and “pedophiles” which couldn’t be further from the truth.   as for truth, the who spread BULL SHIT about my community have ALL the “groomers” wife beaters,  “pedos” rapists, liars, racists bigots etc etc. 

Then there’s the fact that trans women are the most murdered demographic in this country today and trans women of color are at the highest risk by far. 

All we want to do is live in peace, support ourselves and pursue life liberty and happiness. Same as y’all that hate us.  

Britney’s cashapp is https://cash.app/$haveanicetrip if you can, please help support her.

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